It's been a long long long time since my last post :') Do you miss me? No? Okay, that's alright.
But today, I have something to share. Yey! I have so much story to be tell.
But of course I can't tell it all in here. So I'm just gonna write something that might be in my brain -_-
It's about my ex. Yes, I never have another boyfriend again after him. Well, maybe no but...I don't think about it. He's never been my boyfriend :D
So, the last boyfriend is him. He's...the only one who knows me well. Yep, he's too kind. He can accepts me the way I am. And...the only one who still talk to me. We're still close, but...yes we're change :)
Cold to each other. I know, he's busy but...he used to spend a little time for me.
I want to see him again. Just simple as that. But, we never met :')
*Flashbacks on* (Let's just call him Taylor)
My eyebrows lifted when suddenly I heard someone calling out my name. I turned my head and found him smiling at me-with his silly smile. "Hey." I smiled then waiting for him to come to my place.
He walked really fast. Too fast. Not until a second he just got here beside me. He laughed then pinch my cheeks. I scream a little, but still smile :) He loves to pinch my cheek. We do it a lot together. "Taylor, stop it."
He just laughing and laughing without turn his hands out of my cheeks. Then I tiptoe to reach his cheeks, and I pinch his beautiful tapering cheek. "Now, we're tie."
"Ah, you're too cute." He said. Smiling and see me with his both eyes. A beautiful view to see :')
And I'm blushing. Well, Taylor do a lot of flirting. And teasing. He used to joke on me, and made me mad. He always say that he's afraid of me. I'm the only thing after Allah and his parents that make him afraid. Yeah, I don't understand a lot that time, but now I realized the reason he's afraid to me.
He was afraid to losing me.
Sound tragic, eh?
Then after did that silly acts, we walked through the crowd. Walking without knowing that we're gonna end like this. Hehe. Yap... We were a happy couple :-)
And now...what am I gonna say?
I lost him. He lost me.
I don't know him. He doesn't know me.
I hate him. He loves my bestfriend (maybe).
Well it seems that my story ended up with a tragic scene. I can't help. I can't hate him like the way I hate Robert. Like the way he hates me.
We're become an ex to be strangers, right? Haha I thought we were different. We kept the good relation for one to three... sixteen months after we broke up.
Then we're changed. I know. I know we're different like any lovers, but why did we have to the same for now? I hate it. We can't be good friend after become a lovers, am I right?
Beside...I disappointed with you. You said that we're gonna be okay. You said that it won't happen. You said that it was impossible for you to...okay I don't have any right to mad at you. Ah I'm not.
I'm okay, Tay. I'm fine. Just like how you saw me last time.
What we talked about...why did you lie to me?
We don't have to be this way. Why don't you stay as my friend? Why did you go?
Oh yes, I know...You felt guilty about me.
But keeping your distance from me is the only thing that made me hate you. Please. Help me. Help me not to hate you.
I'm happy that you two being together. I really do.
But yeah, maybe you did the right thing for me. For both of us.
You have to kill those feeling, I mean the feeling that had left. The feeling for me. So that you can live your life without me. And so do I.
I can't help. Why...you did the same thing like everyone did to me?
You were my friend. My protector. Why did you leave me alone in this cruel world?
I'm scared Tay....even my best bestfriend seemed to leave me right now.
Why did people leave?
I keep asking why. I keep asking why. I keep asking why.
Well ah I need to stop this right now. I hope you're happy. Just guessing that if you read this, you will mad at me. I don't care, do what you want. I did my best to feel happy for you :-)
I hope you'll always be in Allah's protector, Tay. I can't see you like the way I saw you before...is it okay, right?
Just know that someday...I'll smile at you. If we ever meet again.
This is a peace greeting from me. We're still be friends. Really.
You don;t have to feel guilty about me. It won't change anything anyway.
As long as you happy, I won't get mad to the world.
You deserve better. You deserve to be happy.
Then you have to be strong, Tay. I used to say that you have to be strong whenever you lost something precious in you life. Life is an option, you have an option to replace me being you happiness source :-)
Well yap, goodbye Taylor.
Wherever you are, I'll be there for you if you need me. We're friends. Don't go anywhere...
Take care, promised me that you'll be happy. Promised me that you'll be a good leader. For world. For your family.